It Hurts it really bloody hurts

Last night for some reason I couldn't stop going over and over the day I lost and had Emily it was playing over and over again in my head and the tears where flowing uncontrollably.

Nothing in particular started me off I just went to bed and started thinking, all the things I should be doing now I should be 8 mths pregnant now I should be getting ready for the arrival of my baby girl and I should be excited but instead I'm hurting so much I just want to scream, I can't get my head around the fact that my baby is gone and ill never get to hold her alive.

Why was she taking from me ?????

I would rather have Emily here with me, nothing that may or may not have be wrong with her would hurt as much as losing her I'm her mother and I could have handled it that's my job.

I'm hurting and I don't know how to stop.....