I think I'm ready

I think it is time to finally hold Emily's service I have been thinking about it a lot the last couple of days and going over why it is that I'm putting it of and the reasons just do not out way the fact that she is at the hospital waiting for me to snap out of it. I have realized that even if people forget Emily once she has been put to rest I will never ever forget her and that is all that really matters.

Now we have to just find a date but how I don't know. This is so bloody stupid I shouldn't have to be deciding on a date, I should be as big as a house right now celebrating with all the other ladies who are pregnant, complaining about how hot it is and just being happy why couldn't I have my baby why did she get taken away. I was watching a program the other day about pregnant teens not sure why I put myself through it but I sat and watched the whole program and it just made me so made these little kids having their babies at 14 and 15 what makes them a better parent then me why does "he" take babies away from mothers who want them more then anything and gives them to women/children who can't even look after themselves let alone a child and many of them don't even want them and feel like they have been given this "thing" that is going to stop them from doing all that they wanted to. Why does "he" do it I just don't understand.

Anyway enough of the rambling just needed to get it of my chest I guess. On a better note I received a extremely thoughtful and beautiful gift the other day from a friend who has helped me a lot since losing Emily and I am extremely grateful to her so here is a picture of it and I haven't taking it of except for showers since I got it in the mail I love it. Thanks Melissa.